Chapter - 08 : Thank You,
Daadee … … …
“By love has appeared everything that exists.
By love, that which does not exist appears as it is”.
-Shabestari
Tribute To Parents and the Grandparents, who Give Us Their All
Life, as Lord Buddha told us, is as brief as a lightening flash; yet as Wordsworth said, “The world is too much with us: getting and spending, we lay waste our powers.” We are so involved in worldly things that we never stop to think about the day which is fast approaching us. Prophet Mohammad said - “People are asleep, they will wake up only when they die.” All of a sudden, death will bring us standing face-to-face with God, at which time we will be held accountable for all our deeds. That will be the moment we realise that what we were doing was one thing and that what we should have been doing was something else. Prophet Mohammad once said that on the Day of Judgement, a man’s foot will not move unless he has answered four questions: where he earned his money from, and where he spent it; how he spent his youth and how he used his knowledge.
The Creator has divided human life in to two parts: the ‘per-death’ and ‘post-death’ periods. The ‘per-death’ period is very short in comparison to the post-death period, which is eternal. The ‘per-death’ period is the preparatory phase in which your prayers yourself to become eligible to enter “Paradise” in the ‘post-death’ period. This worldly life is a “test” for everyone, whether poor or rich, powerful or powerless, strong or weak. Man is required to pass in all these tests and trials by leading a need-based life rather than a desire and greed-based life, so that in the life here-after, God allows him to enter “Paradise”, to live there for ever in the close proximity [in kinship] to his Creator.
On the death of a loved one, one should not go into a state of mourning. The Qur’an gives us a great hope in moments of grief and loss : it says that God will reunite all the righteous members of the family in “Paradise”. Moreover, if a member of a family has reached a higher level of “Paradise”, all the righteous members of that family will be “upgraded”, so that they may all enjoy eternal bliss and nearness to God. This idea gives solace and it acts as an incentive and encouragement to do good work, and lead a pious and righteous life. The Qur’an reminds us of our parents’ [and also grandparents] pains taking care in our upbringing, especially that of our mother [or grandmother] : “We enjoined man to show kindness to his parents, for with much pain his mother bears him, and he is not weaned before he is two years of age.” Prophet Mohammad said that when a man dies, everything connected with him is cut off except three things: continuous charity, knowledge from which benefit is derived and virtuous children who pray for him.
So, what could be a more appropriate prayer for our parents than the following: “O Lord, bestow Your mercy on them, as they raised me up when I was little.”
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| Dinesh, Onkar Nath and Akhilesh Kumar |
Long ago, I sat near daadee’s body just before the cremation. I remembered; not known how, she had inferred about her own journey back to her eternal abode. And, the ever-expending quantum of love showering on both of us [me and my elder brother, Akhilesh], she had asked about the farewell-gift from her side. “Yes Daadee! We want a wristwatch, separately for both of us” was our unanimous reply. Our gifts were ready next day. This was the greatest gift of my life; I had ever got and the memory of that ever-happiest moment I still cling in to my bosoms.
The knowledge that I was, in a way, carrying forward a family tradition made me really proud. So, as I sit doing just that, my sense of loss has slowly been overcome by a sense of duty, which I am trying to fulfill.
I feel sad, but also very respectful towards my grandparents, without whom my own family and the generations to come would be impossible.
A great poet – Gopal Das Niraj writes;
"--- --- ---नींद भी खुली न थी कि हाय धूप ढल गई, पाँव जब तलक उठे कि ज़िन्दगी फिसल गई, पातपात झर गये कि शाख़शाख़ जल गई, चाह तो निकल सकी न, पर उमर निकल गई, गीत अश्क बन गए, छंद हो दफन गए, साथ के सभी दिऐ धुआँधुआँ पहन गये, और हम झुकेझुके, मोड़ पर रुकेरुके उम्र के चढ़ाव का उतार देखते रहे। कारवाँ गुज़र गया, गुबार देखते रहे। --- --- ---"
[“I did not even sleep, woe the sun has set, When the feet wake up that life slips, Falls fell that branches and branches got burnt Buried, all the lamps with them put on smoke, and we bowed, paused at the bend, watching the ups and downs of age. The caravan passed by as the clouds watched.”]
But who am I; you need not lie in wait much more, because step-by-step, you keep on reading, my personage will start appearing between-whiles. I am, precisely, not whatever I look to you. Whatever I am before you; are my body. To perceive deeper into the contextual meaning, let me put it forward deferentially. A human body has three forms- [i] outer gross body; made of sense organs – flash, skin, bones, blood, fats etc. [ii] subtle body; comprising the mind, intellect, psyche, egoism – called; manomaya Kosh and the manifestations are; knowledge, thought and intelligence – called; vigyaanamaya Kosh and [iii] casual body [soul], made of happiness, joy or bliss.
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| Dr. Shyam Lal Saxena of Ghaziabad UP |
Once my Master was illustrating “tajalli”, a Sufi term. He told, that the Dictionary-meaning of this word is ‘brilliance’ or ‘splendor’, but according to Sufi theology, it denotes the illumination of “Zaat” [reality]. As such, he says, the “Zaat” is ‘darkness’; the two extremes of end in darkness. He further illustrates; that ‘darkness’ is really light, which the retina of the eyes is incapable to estimate aright. In other words, “Tajalli” is the appearance of ‘reality’ in limitation. God appear before a devotee in the form, most eagerly sought for, by him. Hazrat Moosaa [Peace be upon him] was in search of fire in the desert on his way back to Egypt from Medina, God, therefore, appeared before him in the form of a “burning bush”. If somebody seeks God in an image, the image appears to fulfil his desire. Thus, my Master clarified that there should be no harm in idol worship. “Tajalli” means disclosure, an opening out of certain mysteries.
The next day when I got a chance to be impending to the lotus feet of my Master, I requested him to continue the previous day’s colloquy of ‘tajalli’, wish to explore the formation of ‘kaaran sharir [casual frames] in the mind of ‘father’ and then later transfused into the womb of ‘mother’, through a drop of seminal fluid. He got my point and smiled in affirmation; “yes! This is the truth and our ‘Upanishads’ confirm it. But the Sufis have their own doctrine. They hold that ‘tajalli’ [epiphany] has no repetition. God’s power is infinite and He is exalting out of the deeps of His existence ever new forms and ever new lives.” He further clarified; that “all atoms from eternity move downward in the infinite space”. He referred to Quran Majid [sura qahf:15] “God manifest Himself in ever-changing grabs”. Master then went into the state of silence for about twenty minutes and then re-opened the colloquy putting forth his own view- “in fact, the parents can not give birth to a child according to their own will. It would be rather an absolute impossibility unless the particular soul comes to them and nourishes the germs”. In between, my questioning about reincarnation made him to laugh at me. Continuing himself in the same mood, he narrated an interesting story from E. G. Brown’s “Literary History of Persia”- “there was in Nishapur, an old college, for the repairing of which donkeys were bringing bricks. One day, while the sage [Hakim, i.e. Hazrat Umar) was walking with a group of students, one of the donkeys would, on no account enter. When Hazrat Umar [Rahamat Ullahu Alehi] saw this, he smiled. Went up to the donkey and extemporized the following quatrain:
O lost and now returned ‘yet more stray’
The name from men’s remembrance passed away
Thy nails have now combined to form the hoofs,
Thy tail’s a beard round the other way.
The donkey then entered, and they asked Umar the reason for this. He replied the spirit which has now attached to the body of this ass [formerly] inhabited the body of lecturer in the college, therefore it will not come in, until now when perceiving that its colleagues had recognized it, it was obliged to stop inside”.
Right in beginning, it was our regular practice that whenever we would sit around the Master, a must to sit along with a diary and a pen in hand and ever attentive to the words coming out from his tong. So, that day too, I was having a diary and pen and immediately the above story I got noted, from the notes he had in his hands. Soon after it, we went into deep meditation for about two hours. After the meditation, there continued a state of silence for another hour. Then he again started to speak out about the ‘Law of re-manifestation of the subtle form into the gross physical form.
My Master, although, was sitting amongst us but seemingly his subtle form was watching some other world. His eyes were half-open. He went on speaking- “to understand the reincarnation from one form to another one, we can take an example of a water globule in the ocean and its process of going up, becoming invisible in a vapory state in a cloud and then how it comes down again in the form of a drop mixed into rain-water. In the natural process it may remain again in the mud, or else it may be frozen into a solid substance. But the substance does never destroy; it may become invisible or visible, and conditions do not change the value and the properties of the water globule. In the same manner, the globule of the subtle body arises in the beginning-less past in the ocean of eternal life and remains the reflection of the supreme spirit in the form of intelligence. This might be another course that it destines to appear on this earth, or may go to another planet. It gets empowered to travel at the speed of light. It can follow the way of light from one planet to another, with vibrations or waves of the ether. Such subtle bodies may stay on this plane in the gross form of a human body. After a gap of per-destined time, it resolves into the state of death and thereafter it might go to (so-called) heaven or to some other planet or remain in an invisible state untitled to the proper conditions and the suitable environment appear. Then it gravitates according to their desires. The same forces which have brought us here this time will bring us here again."
Life is liquid and my subtle body [sukshma or
ling sharir] in the form of a globule of its ocean came down to this
plane [earth] of consciousness and was born in an Adheoliya [Saxena] Kayastha
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| Sushri Sushila alias Sheela |
Prior to my birth the days and nights oppressed and agonized my mother, who suffered a lot from agoraphobia; she was left all alone in a very big house, an abode of some twenty family members. My mother was alone in this abode because my father left her for his eternal abode, leaving behind two daughters and one son aged nine, six, and three years respectively, about two months prior to my birth i.e. on 30th August 1944 and the rest of the family flock, including the servants etc. had gone to Aligarh [U.P.] to take care my father’s youngest sister, Sushila [popularly called – Sheela = शीला ] was on death-bed in her ‘in-laws’ house, living there with her husband Sri Jyoti Swarup ‘Satsangi’ [An active associate/follower of ‘Radhasoami Faith’] and the other family members.
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| Vaidya Baldev Prasad Dalela |
The only person to look after my pregnant mother, was Vaidya Baldev Prasad, another son rather than a disciple, of my saint-grandfather, who was living in a lane, right straight across the Kanpur-Road, in the town. He was entrusted with the duty by my grandmother to visit the house, at least twice a day and remain available in need. An experienced lady from our ‘Satsang family’ living in a village near Amritpur, across the river Ganges, had also been alert to reach Fatehgarh at any moment at Vaidya Ji’s call. A respected old man, Vaidya Ji was elder than my father and on account of the prevalent customary reasons, my mother had to be secretive [veil her face] before him. This had made Vaidya Ji come three or even more times every day, knock on the door on his walking stick, ask for the updated state of affairs for his own knowledge and go back right from the doorsteps. He used to keep sentinel watch round the clock those days and seemed restless to leave no stone unturned to prove himself worthy to the words of my grandmother.
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| Mata Ji [Mrs. Bhagawati Devi] |
The startled impulse of splendor, I witnessed, in my revered mother’s eyes while glorifying ‘Laalaaji Nilayam’, is worth mentioning. She used to narrate, in her own language, about those giant-shaped Holy-spirits she had seen, used to keep watch over the House, and so that she [herself] might not become frightened, they seldom come down on the ground floor or appeared their form in daylight.
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| Madhvi Lata + Nirmala Devi |
Another day my eldest sister Madhvi Lata made to startle Vaidya Ji when he found her alone on opening the door in response to his routine call. He asked her how was her mother. My sister then was nine years small girl. She replied- “Mataji [the mother] is not feeling good, to the extent, that she cannot get up and work nicely. I have myself cleaned the floor of the whole house and have prepared the breakfast etc. by my own hands; will you please take it?” Without break, she continued- “She is still in the bed. Look! Just come and look!” Unmoved Vaidya ji let loose the toe of his stick- “Hold it and take me forward”. He then reached there in the gymnasium of my house. There he found three years child Akhilesh, my elder brother was still crying, taking his own index finger he had given support in, the other hand. In a single look he grasped the whole problem; as to why the little one was crying like that and my mother was not able to open her eyes keeping small scissors in her right hand. The story was- while cutting the finger-nails of my elder brother, one of which turned a ricochet, went up, and since my mother was lying down in the bed due to her starting stage of travail, instead of falling down on the earth, it went inside her right eye-lid. Vaidya ji, although a thin-skinned but harsh-spoken person, seemed to say- “hoonh ….(an evil eye to fall); ruined the eye, it has gone…”, picked up a single straw and within no time he took it out. No one saw him going back. My mother wanted to get up to see him off, after paying her due respects, but he did not give her an opportunity to do any such formality.
Later in the afternoon; middle-aged Vaidya Baldev Prasad Dalela on the same day made a rapping noise in his ever-engrossed mood. A quick of mind, my eldest sister Madhavi Lata again opened the door; “oh! Tau Ji”. She gave an esteemed look and uttered “Namaste Tau Ji, it is a pleasant surprise, Mainstay Bauaji”. She poured a jubilant happy-go-lucky smile on both of them. Dancing with soul-stirring welcome, in a melodious songstress sound, she took a lead in “come, please do come. Look Mataji ! Who has come home? Guess, who has come.” She carried her luggage with her small but mighty hands and brought Bauaaji to my mother. Till then my mother was feeling slightly better. Mataji, as a token of respectful gratitude, was just on her way to greet and she had not yet taken a bent to touch the feet of Bauaaji, who stopped her during the course and embraced her with great love and allowed her head to rest on her shoulders. Later she expunged the flow of her tears by her own bosom. My sister, while narrating this view-scan, still asserts that she had never witnessed such a warm meeting throughout her lifetime. Bauaaji was the same “experienced lady” of a village near Amritpur across the river-Ganges, referred to here before, made alert by my grandmother before leaving her pregnant daughter-in-law. After leaving Bauaaji to hear, with my sister at our doorsteps, Vaidya ji had gone back for the due arrangements of the delivery; a time unknown might have come at any moment.
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| Horoscope [Dinesh Kumar Saxena] |
Soon after she stepped in, the days and nights started running fast and ultimately the long-awaited time arrived, according to my mother, it might perhaps be the fourth or the fifth day after she had come in. it was the 28th morning of October 1944 when she delivered a male child at 10.46 A.M.
Looking forth the stable health status of my father’s youngest sister Sushila was lying on her deathbed in Aligarh for more than three weeks, this information was emitted through an XXR message. The telegram-med message gave its fruitful results and after getting the contents she opened her eyes, discharged miserly, a little smile as if the hair disheveled on her own face. Despite her severe weakness she strews her happiness on the news and after a while, she came out with a whispering sound- “good; very good. I am extremely happy”. As if she had gone tired of her own life, she again turned to prolong her conversation- “if at all he has come in this world; may Lord be gracious to get on well”. She was very fond of giving a name to the newly born babies, “he should be given such a name who would illuminate the great name of my saint Daadaa [elder brother, she used to address her elder brother, Mahatma Jagmohan Narain as ‘Daadaa’]”.
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| Akhilesh And Dinesh |
After a while, the flame of her extinguishing life-force, become once again lightened high gleam flashed on her face - “Okay. I myself give an appropriate name to my darling nephew; the younger brother of Akhilesh would be Dinesh”. She closed her eyes. Yes, finally. She had gone for her final resting place; the abode eternal.
Continued ... ... ...
servus servorum Dei,
Dinesh Kumar Saxena [Grandson, spiritual and de jure heir of H. H. Mahatma Ram Chandra Ji (Laalaa Ji) Maharaj of Fatehgarh (UP) India.]
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